Everyone that paid attention in seventh grade health class knows all about the intricacies of intercourse. I want to focus here on the not-so-straightforward phenomenon known as "outercourse." Outercourse is a term that simply describes sex play that doesn't involve penetration. It is often underrated because people think of sex as being all or nothing, but outercourse can include many pleasurable acts like kissing, petting, erotic massage, mutual masturbation, phone sex, sharing fantasies, and so on. Often times, these things are thought of as foreplay, mere preparations to get to the "real" action. The outercourse act I'd like to highlight is called frottage, more bluntly known as dry humping (though I'm not sure I like this term, I'll use it for a lack of a better one). Yes, I'm actually going to talk about dry humping which is, for those of you that haven't given it a whirl, is when clothed people rub their bodies up against each other for sexual gratification. It sounds a little odd to say the least, and I was pretty surprised that many of my peers, when asked, spoke of this usually hush-hush act in glowing terms. Most of them said it was something they did as teenagers when it was as far as their partner would let them go. Others said they only did it now on the way to bigger and better things that occurred later in the night. Still others said it was only something they did on the dance floor. One person told me "it's a disgusting practice done by pubescent teens which will only lead to intercourse eventually". Although it's a little unconventional, I want to point out the physical, emotional, and practical benefits of this practice and how it can be a complete and satisfying sex act in and of itself. The first advantage is that you can't pass nasty sex germs if you keep your pants on. When one in five people in the United States has a sexually transmitted disease, two-thirds of which occur in people 25 years of age or younger, engaging in a sex act that has a low likelihood of passing these infections is a VERY good thing. I say low likelihood because in the world of sex, abstinence is the only time you can really say "never." Herpes can be passed through skin-to-skin contact even with no penetration, but with pants on, you should be in the clear. Another nice attribute is no babies. There are about 75 million unwanted pregnancies worldwide each year. The reasons for this high number are because some don't use contraception or the contraceptive that is used fails. Even with perfect use, a diaphragm fails 6 percent of the time, condoms fail 3 percent of the time, and the pill fails less than 1 percent of the time. This seems low until you're the one in a hundred that gets knocked up, and I know someone who got pregnant while on the pill so it certainly can happen. For some reason I still can't understand, people sometimes choose not to use any form of protection, saying it spoils the mood or is easy to forget. When done right (making sure no semen gets through the clothing) dry humping is 100 percent effective against unwanted pregnancy, can be brought with you anywhere, doesn't interrupt the mood, and it's free. You might be thinking, "Yeah, that's all fine and great. But how good can it really feel through a pair of jeans?" I guess it depends on who you ask. The Hite Report, a sex survey of woman, revealed that only 26 percent of females can orgasm from intercourse alone. This isn't surprising because the clitoris is where it is at, the "emerald city of women's orgasmic response" if you will. Intercourse just doesn't cut if for many women. In a recent questionnaire about orgasm during intercourse in Jane Magazine, one woman responded, "not intercourse, but all the time in outercourse." And the clitoris is in the perfect position for the friction of dry humping to create a very pleasurable experience, most likely even more pleasurable than "real" sex. What about the men? Most that I talked to were able to achieve orgasm from the encounter. I stumbled upon an online discussion forum on the topic and the comments some gentleman made were quite informative. One man mentioned that only females orgasmed from dry sex and others replied feverishly to correct him. One reply read, "This is not true, I have cum many times dry humping and I'm a male". Another explained that, "the pressure and friction and holding her close was pretty wild and I could cum every time." A third man offered his personal experiences with it, saying, "Dry humping is erotic for sure. My sweetie and I still do it." Obviously, men can enjoy this as well. In addition to the physical satisfaction and health benefits associated, dry humping can make all the emotional connections made during sex. Because it can assume many of the positions of intercourse, outercourse is basically just simulated sex and therefore still provides much of the physical closeness and emotional intimacy that sex does. It also is a nice substitute when the female has her period, and is convenient when living in dorms or parent's homes where the threat of being walked in on is imminent-you're already clothed so you can just roll off instead of scrambling for clothes or blankets for cover. Although this mode of sexual gratification is normally thought of as just an outlet for horny teenagers, it doesn't have to end there. With the right frame of mind, outercourse can be a thrilling experience for a couple.
E-mail Jill McDevitt at j_i_l_l_@hotmail.com
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